In Bloodied Hands
by The Candlelight Chaos
Summary: Life lies balanced on the tip of a knife. All it took was the courage of one girl to send the knife swinging and now he is in control of it. But will it eventually turn back on him? MirKag


Disclaimer: For all the lawyers lurking out there, waiting for an author to forget to remind their readers they don't own anything, but the plot and their dignity (oh wait….they're posting here. Dignity gone, lol), HA! Can't get me now

Side note: Speech -- " regular "

Thoughts --_' italics' _

* * *

**-In Bloodied Hands-**

"Miroku? Would….would you mind coming outside with me for a moment?"

Sango cursed herself as her voice broke. Hadn't she practiced this in her mind countless upon countless time?

'_Ugh…'_

Heart fluttering as the handsome monk stood, she led him out along a dirt path and slowed to a stop as they neared the base of a grassy hill, a stream nearby filling the night with a subtle, peaceful background music. The moon hung full in the cloudless sky, stars twinkling brightly.

Yes. It was perfect, exactly as she'd planned it to be. Everything was going as hoped and now if only she could say what she had longed to for these past three years.

And yet…A few minutes ticked by in relative silence, him trying to look interested and her clearing her throat occasionally in vain attempts to force the words out.

Sensing the demon slayer was having trouble, Miroku turned to her and asked, "It is truly a stunning evening, my dear Sango, but was this all you wanted to show me?"

"No!" She yelped, traitorous cheeks flushing pink as she then strove to save face. _'How come this was so much easier in my head?'_ she thought miserably, outwardly giving a weak smile.

"I mean, no…There was something, **has**** been** something I've wanted to talk to you about…"

Trailing off, she stole a quick glance at him and lost her nerve again at the sight of his flashing eyes.

He noticed and knew this could take a while. His temper flared briefly in irritation; the knife had finally been set into motion, ready to etch out their fate which would be determined by a single decision. So why must this girl insist on making this some sort of production like so?

Swallowing his impatience, Miroku gave what he hoped seemed like an encouraging gesture for her to continue.

She looked heartened by this, proceeding to gush, "Well, it's just we've known each other for so long and I've seen how you look at me and you still need someone to bear your children and…! Ah…What I mean to say is I love you and I know you love me and I want to have your children."

Her countenance coloured the most fascinating shade of scarlet, he saw with some amusement. Now, how to break the news to her after such a heart-warming confession?

Sango panted slightly, having said all of that on naught, but two breaths. It was difficult to get any air to her chest; her heart was pounding and taking up too much room for her lungs to get anything. But she'd said it. They would be a family from now on. 'Family…' Just the word sent excited thrills running down her back. She set her expectant eyes back to her love, waiting breathlessly for the reply.

With an internal sigh, he let a calm façade steal over his face, afraid of what the girl might see otherwise. Would it be disgust? Revulsion, perhaps? Whatever it might be, it certainly wouldn't be what she'd normally see on "her beloved's face". No need to trouble her more than necessary by showing the truer side of himself.

"Oh Sango…"

She instantly stiffened at the reproachful tone. This wasn't right.

Miroku continued, "I won't deny that I love you, but I could never ask you to take on the burden of bearing my offspring. You're my sister in every way beyond blood. I'm sorry if the way I act made you think it was an affection of the heart, but it simply isn't so."

A pained expression was dawning across her face and he decided to deal his trump card before she could gather herself together enough to disagree.

"And in any case, have you forgotten your own true brother? Are you really going to let him stay Naraku's plaything forever while you settle down and start a new life? I might expect that from Inuyasha, but never you."

Sango shook her head as if to clear it, whimpering. "No, no…I'm not forgetting about Kohaku. But don't I deserve a little happiness, too? It may take another three years for us to bring down Naraku; something could happen in that time and we'd never be able to be together."

"We never will be together," he corrected her, not unkindly. "To think you would put yourself before your kin…Proof enough you're not ready for a responsibility of this magnitude to begin with. I'm disappointed in you."

She backed away from him jerkily. "How can you say that? I love you…I'm ready to have children, I am! Kohaku is always on my mind. I'd do anything to save him, you should know that."

Miroku froze her with another piercing flash of his eyes and simply said, "I think that you should go, Sango."

"Y-yes, I think you're right…" she mumbled, stumbling and moving towards the hut. A hand was at her shoulder in a split second.

"I did not mean back with the others."

"…What? Where am I to go then?" What should have sounded at least a bit panicked merely came out flat. Good, it was taking effect.

"Leave," he commanded quietly. "Leave and rescue your brother. Stay loyal to your words. Show me your devotion and right to stay by my side."

Inside, he sneered in distaste. This was not the one for which he yearned. Nothing she could do would ever come close to changing his mind.

"But what of Kagome and Inuyasha and Shippo?" She asked, but her voice held no real conviction, no will to argue his order as if it no longer mattered. And it didn't. Either she would leave by her own power or he'd see to the necessary arrangements to keep her out of the way, arrangements that would be far from pleasant.

Miroku patted her on the back and assured her that he would produce some excuse for her absence, would even bring her Hirakutsu and Kirara if she would wait, but a bit. She said something about wanting to make her goodbyes, but he protested that it would be much too painful for their poor companions, why not spare them at least that? Now, just stay here for a few and he'll be back.

Time was irrelevant as she waited for his return from their lodgings. Sango couldn't even wonder what he would be telling them or if they'd miss her at all. Wasn't it ironic that her world should be sliding from under her feet when she'd imagined it blossoming with love and joy? No, that was her life.

And here came the man that used to be the violet sun of that life, carrying her bag and feline friend (Hirakutsu dragging behind him). His lips that she used to daydream about were moving rapidly as he spoke, but the words washed over her, meaningless as a foreign language. It wasn't until he'd handed everything over and Kirara had transformed in readiness to go that Sango came to herself long enough to interrupt the monk's ramblings.

The words were hard to say and painful in coming, but she had to give it a final try. "Miroku, before I go….Please, let me kiss you just once."

Momentarily stunned, he nodded resignedly and let her approach him. She hesitated, then pressed her lips to his in a desperate kiss. But his mouth was cold and unresponsive and she had to choke back a cry as she pulled away, ashamed with rejection.

Neither felt the need to say anything further after she'd gone to her demon companion and climbed on unsteadily. Miroku was already heading down the path to the warmth of the hut before she'd gotten more than twenty feet into the air. Her last hope had died with the kiss and now she was off on a suicidal mission. For surely it was suicidal to be chasing after her brother alone this way, but it didn't matter anymore.

As she flew to the north with Kirara, her tears fell and sparkled in the moonlight like the stars around her.

And so...The knife cut one from their number forever.


End file.
